I know what you are thinking.
Don’t worry, I didn’t cry today.
Today went swimmingly.
It started out flawlessly, with a full five hours of beauty sleep and me barely rolling out of bed for work at the butt crack of dawn at 8AM.
…What. It’s summer.
Today, went swimmingly.
I had a chocolate chip bagel for breakfast, my marvelous mother packed my lunch (hey- I’m using these last three months of being a teenager at full throttle), answered phones and filed papers at my week day job as a receptionist, stopped at 7eleven for taquitos, came home, got OUT of that skirt ASAP (who actually likes pants?), and danced in my mirror for a bit.
And now I’m here.
Wait, I’m so sorry. How rude of me.
I didn’t even introduce myself.
Hi, I’m Mia. I’m a 19 year old girl from Virginia Beach going into my third year of college at JMU (GO DUKES!), studying Media Arts and Design with a concentration in Digital Video and Cinema and a minor in Creative Writing. I love my family, I have friends that are kind of cool, I like taco bell and singing in the shower, I know one and a half songs on the ukelele, and I am really unhealthily obsessed with scary movies and tattoos, even though I don’t have any.
Most everyone I know, knows me as a ball of sunshine. Like, I know that’s really weird to say about yourself and I’m actually chuckling and thinking about backspacing as I write this, but people just know me as the “happy” girl.
I mean, it’s true.
I’m always smiling. I’m really bubbly. I’m outgoing. I honestly love life and I think it’s so beautiful and eccentric and wonderful and I don’t know how else to say that without sounding strange, like a 70’s hippie, or Miss America, but all of this is true.
I’m occasionally (and by that I mean more than occasionally) awkward, but that’s besides the point I guess.
Today went swimmingly.
WHAT? I CRIED YESTERDAY? AND I’M OKAY TODAY? I KNOW RIGHT? CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
There’s this funny thing about life. Are you ready for this?
It goes on.
Yesterday, I cried. A lot. Like really hard.
People were confused.
Like, actually confused.
I’m not kidding.
A large handful of wonderful and caring individuals were concerned and confused as to why I was so upset.
Naturally, when you post a blog post about crying in your closet, people are going to ask what’s wrong with you.
I’m not going to lie. At first, I was a bit irritated by this.
In my most sassy voice, I was venting to my parents in the kitchen an hour ago: “Why are people so shocked? I didn’t get the memo that I’m not allowed to be sad.”
I didn’t get what the big deal was.
Like, I cried in my closet for 20 minutes yesterday.
Do normal people not do that?
Am I some kind of super hero superior to this life rule?
I was very wrong to be annoyed by people simply caring about me, and I have wonderful parents (and my brother- Hi Naquis) to remind me when I’m wrong.
But there is one thing I do stand by, and is in fact, my lesson of the day.
There is no need to be perfect.
Okay, obviously, we all know this.
But do we really?
After hearing all of these condolences and questions about my emotions, my sanity, and my life… I began to feel guilty. I truly did.
Why was I sad and angry yesterday? Couldn’t things be worse? It couldn’t have possibly been that bad. I should be lucky. I shouldn’t feel this way. Why did I post about it on the internet? What did I expect?
Little did I know, just by thinking all of these thoughts, I was attempting to be perfect.
Guilt for your feelings, whatever they may be, is trying to be perfect.
Guilt for trying to feel what you THINK you SHOULD be feeling, is trying to perfect.
Guilt for your actions because other people think it is wrong (which in most cases, they probably aren’t even thinking about you), is trying to be perfect.
Because you are trying to fit in a mold, that is not your mold.
The definition of perfect, as defined on Dictionary.com (I know right, so scholarly), is: Conforming absolutely to the description or definition of an ideal type: a perfect sphere; a perfect gentleman.
Stop trying to fit in a mold that you didn’t create. It’s a tight squeeze, and that’s just no fun.
And the pressure to be perfect truly isn’t coming from anyone else.
It’s coming from you.
Mess up. Badly. Put something in the wrong place. Do something the wrong way. Accidentally say something really dumb, and don’t apologize for it. Heck, go cry in a closet for three hours.
Here’s one of the best things I’ve ever seen. I’ll never forget the day I saw this on Shay Mitchell’s (Pretty Little Liars Star) instagram page. It hasn’t left my brain since.
And so here I am, writing this. For you.
So maybe today, I learned a few lessons.
1. Life doesn’t stop for anybody. And you’re on board. Keep moving.
2. The key to being to perfect, is to not be perfect at all.
I am not perfect. And if you think I am, I regret to inform you that you are sadly mistaken.
Today went swimmingly.
And I’m going to keep swimming in my imperfect little pond.
Or ocean, maybe.
The world is my oyster.
Hey, it’s yours too.
Oh, shout out to my mom for that chocolate chip bagel. So clutch. Love you Monise!