Lesson #12: You’re in there now.

7/31/14.

You know how, a few days ago, I said it’s time to start being honest with yourself?

Well.

I’ve come head to head with denial, and today, I’ve finally decided to accept something:

Life does not slow down from here.

I’ve been waiting for the moment my life will slow back down; the day I can catch a break,

or better yet, my breath.

When I’m away at school, I live for the month my life will finally slow down.

My forever awesome YouTube fans know I’m infamous for the line:

“It’ll be easier to make videos the summer.”

Then, it’s summer.

Then I’m working and busy catching up with friends and praying for the week I can just magically have time to relax, or do what I need to do.

Then after that doesn’t happen, please God, just give me a day.

But even when I am granted this one, perfect day,

I still can’t sit still for one moment.

And I think it’s bad now?

In two years I’ll be out of college, with my first real job. Or a movie contract. Or a record deal. Or a successful book series. Or traveling. Or on a talk show. Or all six.

Then, I’m going to get married. And have a kid. Or three.

And then, maybe if I’m still alive and breathing I’ll have time to sit in a rocking chair and read a book for five minutes before I kick the bucket.

Maybe this is it.

Maybe this is life.

And I’m going be honest here again.

Maybe… this is just the way I like it.

Well, actually.

Not really.

I’m actually terrified.

As I type this, I’m like, basically on the verge of a panic attack.

But.

I have made the decision to be brave enough to just fully and excitedly accept the fact that life will not slow down from here, and I am just going to have to learn to enjoy it.

It’s the scariest, loveliest, thrilling, most stressful, wonderful thing.

This is life, and all it’s mine.

Maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe life does slow down.

But that’s not happening anytime soon.

So I’m just going to go with it.

Day Twelve.

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