Lesson #23: Forgiveness and Friendiversaries.

8/11/14.

Today, my best friend and I celebrated 8 years of friendship. We looked at old pictures and videos, ate pizza with friends, and had a celebratory pool party that we didn’t even swim at.

And now we are sitting in bed looking at this screen.

She says hi.

Of course, friendiversaries come complete with pillow talks.

Today, I was going to tell you guys to never attempt to catch your razor in the shower.

Because you will cut your boob.

And bleed.

BUT she saved you from a boring, practical, and very graphic lesson.

You’re welcome.

Instead, she encouraged me to tell you guys what I just shared with her.

All of us have that one person we feel like we are just never going to get over, no matter how hard we try. We are constantly torn between being angry, and being heartbroken. Regretting, and wishing, and dwelling,

Even though you may be over someone, feelings can still linger.

And time is the only thing that truly heals.

It does not fix, but it heals.

And one day, that will be good enough.

But for now,

yes.

It’s going to hurt.

It’ll go away, but that takes time.

What doesn’t take time, is making the choice to be at peace.

And the only way to do that,

is to forgive them.

Forgive them for what they’ve done to you. For what they should’ve done, but didn’t. For making you hurt. For making you cry. For breaking promises. For making you happy, and then taking it all away.

Forgive them.

I’m not saying it’s going to hurt any less, or that it will be any easier to get over.

It won’t.

But thank them.

Thank them for showing you that these kinds of feelings are possible. For showing you what you don’t want in a person. For showing you what you do want in a person. For being a stepping stone on the way up to better relationships. To better things.

For a long time, I was very confused at what forgiveness was.

I thought it meant giving up your pain. Not being hurt anymore. I thought it meant forgetting about what the other person did to you.

But this isn’t a fairytale.

Forgiving someone means being hurt, being broken, and still being a bad ass bitch strong enough to say to “I’m damaged, but I’m not going to hate you now.”

“I’m going to stop being angry with you.”

“I’m now going to excuse you for being a complete fucking idiot.”

Minus all the hard feelings.

You get the picture.

That’s what forgiveness is.

It’s hard.

But that’s the beginning of peace.

You’ve heard it before.

Granting someone forgiveness is not about them.

It’s about finally putting yourself first.

It’s about releasing the anger so you can be on your way to healing.

Healing takes time.

But making the conscious choice to forgive doesn’t.

And you can do that now.

Really, you don’t have to speak to that person ever again.

But you need to forgive them. Not to their face. Not to your friends. Not to your journal. Or blog post. But in your heart.

So today’s lesson?

Celebrate. Give advice. Share advice. Forgive. Thank. Love.

And be thankful you didn’t graze off part of your boob.

Day Twenty-Three.

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