Monthly Archives: February 2015

Lesson #222: Don’t leave (just yet.)

2/28/15.

I was about to quit.

Well, really, I was about to stop before I even truly started.

But a good friend inspired me to do just the opposite.

I made up in my mind that I didn’t want to be involved with something that didn’t feel right. Everything seemed to be going so well, but things changed quickly. I was frustrated, and upset, and I thought the smart thing to do was to get out of there; to save myself time before I was in   too deep. It seemed like the obvious decision: Don’t waste your time someplace where you are upset.

But my friend taught me this.

If you aren’t happy with something for the sole reason that things aren’t easy, or aren’t good, or corrupt—then that’s really not a good enough reason to give up.

Not at first, anyways.

You can’t leave at the first sign of adversity.

Because maybe you’re the one who is supposed to be there to change it all.

It takes bravery, like a lot of other things in life. It’s not a walk in the park—and yeah—maybe you will be upset or frustrated at first. But if you don’t try, you’ll never know what kind of impact you would have had. How much positivity you could have infiltrated in the place around you. How good things could get.

And hey, you never know how much would have grown as a person either.

It takes strength.

But it’ll give you strength in return.

Don’t give up so easy.

I learned this from a really great person. And from someone went through it themselves, I’ve already seen them become greater.

Day 222.

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Lesson #220: Naps or nah?

…2/27-28/15.

It is possible to take a nap at 6pm and sleep all the way through the night (because I didn’t think so).

Just for the record.

Day 220

Lesson #219: Give time.

2/26/15.

If you think you need a good amount of time to get it done,

give yourself even more time than that.

You’re welcome.

Day 219.

Lesson #218: Bad habits die hard.

2/25/15.

Obviously,

Bad habits die hard.

I’m late to everything.

I stay up way later than I should.

I click on Twitter “for two minutes” and end up scrolling for ten or fifteen.

I like to get small pesky tasks out of the way before moving onto big ones, but then I’m stuck doing big tasks at the last possible minute, and I freak out.

I’ve learned that it takes a lot more than just realizing your bad habits or accepting them to change them.

It takes work, and self control, and quite frankly—even stopping the little things is still really freaking hard.

You really have to buckle down.

If you want to change things up, you aren’t getting out of this one easy.

But what in life is?

Day 218.

Lesson #217: Before the breaking point…

2/24/15.

Take care of your shit,

but always remember to take care of yourself.

You have to (have to have to) value your sanity.

Accept your limits. Respect your mental and physical boundaries. Know when enough is enough.

And do these well before you reach your breaking point.

What you’re doing is important,

but so are you.

Put your health—mental, emotional, and physical—before everything else. That’s all you have to keep going.

I constantly push myself. I take on a lot of things, because I like to. But then I put the things I need (but tell myself I don’t) further down on my list. Sleep. Health. A clear state of mind.

If you’re new to my lessons,

Hi. I’m so happy you’re here.

Lucky for you, you missed out on the absolute mess that was my life last semester. I was constantly going, constantly doing something—whether it be work, class, a meeting, or an event. I would get up early to start my day, not get home until 9 or 10pm, and then stay up until 3 or 4am doing homework.

This semester?

Well. About the same schedule.

In contrast, though, so far so good.

But last night, I felt myself approaching the breaking point that I was all too familiar with, and I did not want to re-visit that.

After three full days and three very late nights in a row, I woke up today feeling myself getting sick. Half way through the day, I just knew I couldn’t do it. I thought about the rest of my day: a project to film at work, a team meeting, class, an extra credit event. And that didn’t include the poetry open mic night I wanted to go to, or the chapter meeting I had to lead that night. I knew they were all important, but I knew even more so that I didn’t want to risk taking myself to that point again: tears, delusion, exhaustion. I couldn’t tell if this was all in my head or not, but it didn’t matter.

I called out of everything, went home, and slept.

This is a lesson I really have struggled to learn. Not just learning to be on my own, but learning to actually taking care of myself. I’m starting to realize what I’m doing wrong, and what I’m beginning to doing do right. I’m getting there.

If you’re anything like me—or even if you aren’t—

Take care of yourself, value your sanity, and power through, you crazy kid.

Day 217.

Lesson #216: Let mistakes scare you.

2/23/15.

Let your mistakes scare you into not making the same mistakes again.

Let them scare you,

but never let them haunt you.

Day 216.

Lesson #215: Forcing the feeling.

2/22/15.

Just how you can’t stop yourself from falling,

you can’t force yourself to feel something that isn’t there.

And realizing that can hurt just as much.

Day 215.