So yesterday was Valentine’s Day.
It’s a thing.
I can only speak for myself, but I find that a lot of people truly hate it.
With a passion.
Like, they hate it the way people hate slow drivers, or sour cream, or nails on a chalkboard.
But strangely (or maybe not so “strangely”?), I don’t hate Valentine’s day at all.
This really makes no sense, because I’ve been single my entire life. I don’t count the times I’ve been on a few dates with the same guy, or have gotten to know someone over the course of a few months, or even the boy I “dated” for a weeks in the beginning of high school. Have I been romantically involved with people? Yes. Have I been in a relationship? No.
Naturally, I should have a free pass to hate a holiday devoted to love.
But I don’t.
And the reason I think I don’t, is because I cherish love very much.
My parents have been together since high school, and married now for over 25 years. They aren’t just married, but they are in love—very much so—and I see it every day. I grew up around love. I was taught to never go to bed angry, to kiss each other goodnight, and to say “I love you” constantly. My dad never let me forget how beautiful I was, and my mom showed me what it was like to be strong and independent, but to still love wholly and selflessly. My brothers and I fought, but we were still very close growing up. Our extended family was really just “family” to us, because we grew up close with them too. And all of the same things applied.
So, it makes a lot of sense why it means so much to me, yea?
One of my absolute favorites quotes is this one:
“Unless it is mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love should not be one of them.”
And I live by it, obviously, because ya girl is still single. (“We’re very single,” as my roommate Morgan likes to say.)
Many boys I’ve met are intimidated by this, or too impatient to understand.
Sometimes, even I’m intimidated by this, and maybe even more impatient than they are. Because the waiting game gets hard.
Listen, I’m not perfect. Like, at all.
I don’t expect some guy to come sweeping me off my feet, carrying me to his castle (or to his jet plane……I saw Fifty Shades of Grey yesterday……why). I don’t expect him to be perfect. I don’t expect him to put everything be down for me. I don’t expect him to immediately promise me forever. Because I know I wouldn’t want, or couldn’t promise, the same things.
But what I do expect is for things to be good.
Well, more than good.
So before you get to wondering why I’m telling you all of this, I’ll just go ahead and say it.
My lesson today has two parts.
First, just love.
Love those around you. Spend time with them. Do something special every once in a while.
Obviously this is the most commercial holiday of them all, but really—who gives a shit? Just take advantage of the fun.
My parents visited for the day, and we spent some time together going to the farmer’s market, peeking around at an art festival, taking crazy pictures, and eating burgers. That night, one of my good guy friends came and picked me up, and we went to the movies and had dinner. We split food, had drinks at the movies, slipped on ice and busted our butts, and just laughed and had a good time. We just enjoyed each other’s company.
All love doesn’t have to be romantic. And I think that’s the most mistaken part about it.
Second, cherish love.
Whether you’re single or not, cherish the beauty and intricacy of love—and I’m talking about romantic love now.
If you’re in a great relationship, cherish what you have.
If you’re in a shitty relationship, you should probably get out of there. You can do a lot better.
If you’re like me, and you’re not in a relationship at all, just keep waiting.
It’s tough. I know.
But while you’re waiting for that wonderful something, or someone, cherish the love that you do have around you.
And most importantly, cherish yourself.
Once you do, the rest will follow.
I’m not promising you an instant romantic love,
But I am promising you that when it does come,
it won’t be anything short of incredible.
Happy Valentine’s Day.