Lesson #212: Honestly?

2/19/15.

There are a lot of ways to be honest.

And after finally putting it together in my head, I’ve learned that it goes a little something like this.

You’re confused? Ask.

You’re excited? Tell.

You’re happy with it? Say it.

You’re upset with someone? Express it.

You’re worried? Let them know.

If someone asks you what you want? For God’s sake, just answer the question.

Being honest is not about speaking up whenever you get the chance, or conjuring up something to say about everything, or having no filter at all. It’s simply about answering whatever is beckoning to you, genuinely. Whether it’s something you want to know, or something you want to say, or even just answering a question. It’s about letting those words that you feel about to roll off of your tongue, roll off of your tongue. Not giving into that irrational hesitation or doubt—that voice in your head that knocks on the walls: Wait, should I really ask that? Or say that? What will happen? Don’t answer.

Really.

Please tell me you haven’t thought one of the following in this past week:

“I want to ask, but I’m too afraid.”

“I want to tell them, but I’m too scared.”

“I can’t say that, that’s probably actually really weird.”

“They’re going to be mad at me.”

“They probably won’t answer me.”

“They might think of me differently.”

Tell me I’m not the only one here who has thought: “Oh, they’ll hate me” or “Wait, that’s too creepy” or the worst— “No, that’s probably too personal.”

Honestly? I’ve come to realize that people respect real.

Not “I HAVE TO TELL THEM HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS,” but—

“Here’s how I feel. Here’s what I want to know.”

People respect it because we’ve all thought some of the same exact things; we’ve all been there too.

Obviously, social cues are a thing. And you should never overstep your boundaries. But if your curiosity or fascination or intrigue is coming from a place of authenticity—or care—what’s the harm?

We’ve got to stop worrying so hard about how we will sound, or what someone else will think.

Being honest doesn’t have to be something that requires some major effort, or a push. It doesn’t always have to be some “big thing”—some large announcement, or coming clean about something top secret.

It’s about asking that question. About giving that compliment.

It’s about saying what you want to say.

It’s about saying what you mean.

Don’t hesitate. Don’t think twice.

Just do it.

Being honest, in a way, is like being courageous.

Do it afraid.

Do it before you even get the chance to realize you’re standing in the middle of doubt.

Because honestly, the doubt is probably just all in our head anyway.

Day 212.

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