Lesson #217: Before the breaking point…

2/24/15.

Take care of your shit,

but always remember to take care of yourself.

You have to (have to have to) value your sanity.

Accept your limits. Respect your mental and physical boundaries. Know when enough is enough.

And do these well before you reach your breaking point.

What you’re doing is important,

but so are you.

Put your health—mental, emotional, and physical—before everything else. That’s all you have to keep going.

I constantly push myself. I take on a lot of things, because I like to. But then I put the things I need (but tell myself I don’t) further down on my list. Sleep. Health. A clear state of mind.

If you’re new to my lessons,

Hi. I’m so happy you’re here.

Lucky for you, you missed out on the absolute mess that was my life last semester. I was constantly going, constantly doing something—whether it be work, class, a meeting, or an event. I would get up early to start my day, not get home until 9 or 10pm, and then stay up until 3 or 4am doing homework.

This semester?

Well. About the same schedule.

In contrast, though, so far so good.

But last night, I felt myself approaching the breaking point that I was all too familiar with, and I did not want to re-visit that.

After three full days and three very late nights in a row, I woke up today feeling myself getting sick. Half way through the day, I just knew I couldn’t do it. I thought about the rest of my day: a project to film at work, a team meeting, class, an extra credit event. And that didn’t include the poetry open mic night I wanted to go to, or the chapter meeting I had to lead that night. I knew they were all important, but I knew even more so that I didn’t want to risk taking myself to that point again: tears, delusion, exhaustion. I couldn’t tell if this was all in my head or not, but it didn’t matter.

I called out of everything, went home, and slept.

This is a lesson I really have struggled to learn. Not just learning to be on my own, but learning to actually taking care of myself. I’m starting to realize what I’m doing wrong, and what I’m beginning to doing do right. I’m getting there.

If you’re anything like me—or even if you aren’t—

Take care of yourself, value your sanity, and power through, you crazy kid.

Day 217.

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