Monthly Archives: April 2015

Lesson #283: Why today is not really a lesson.

4/30/15.

Where. Do. I. Fucking. Start.

Let’s not.

Because if I do,

there is no telling what I’ll say, or when I’ll finish, or how many things I might accidentally set on fire.

With that being said,

Today’s lesson.

Take a deep breath.

Don’t say anything you will regret.

And confront it when you’re ready.

Day 283.

Lesson #282: That time I hated it, but stayed.

4/29/15.

When I walked out of my first poetry class of the semester,

I wanted to die.

My professor seemed cool and super intelligent, but she rambled.

The class seemed to have no structure, so I felt like my brain was being tossed around.

We workshopped online instead of in class, and I thought it was completely disengaging.

I was positive the class would be horrible.

But now I’m in the library, just coming back from the last class of the semester, and I can honestly say it’s one of the most meaningful classes I’ve ever been in.

It’s strange to think that on the second day, I almost dropped the class.

And it’s even more strange to think that my life—in the most inescapably cliché way— would not be the same if I had.

I have met some of the most kind, different, intelligent, and exciting people—artists, dancers, rappers, journalists—and we’ve all become closer through our writing and conversations. It saddens me to think that after this class we may all go our separate ways, but I can honestly say that my life and perspective has been impacted just from being in a room with these people for four months.

I have been put out of my comfort zone. I have learned to take chances, and put up with things I hate (aka iambs and pentameter), and have written things I would have never thought to write. I have heard many stories, and have had many, many conversations that I could never have in an everyday setting with people who are too in-their-ways or dismissive to talk about it with. I have learned how to be uncomfortable, but to explore why, and then talk through it.

I have become a little bit better of a person.

And by this, I don’t mean I—or anyone else who has come out of a good experience—was a bad person before. I just mean that every experience that you take and run with, you become a little bit more of who you are, and who you want to be.

I’m also not saying that everything we hate in the beginning will turn out to be wonderful and life-altering and perspective-shifitng.

It won’t.

But this is what I’ve found to be true.

Just because something isn’t how you first imagined it, and just because it’s not how you are used to learning, doesn’t mean it’s wrong and does’t mean you won’t benefit from it either.

Have you even given it a chance?

Try.

It could be the time of your life.

Even better—

it could lead you to a better you.

Day 282.

Lesson #281: Cooties.

4/28/15.

I used to be a germaphobe.

But that was all out the window when I came to college and was immersed into the world of dorm rooms and community bathrooms.

Over the course of the past three years, there’s one habit that I regret ever becoming desensitized too.

And now it’s too late. And it’s struck at the worst time.

Like your mom taught you in the fourth grade,

don’t drink behind others.

…Or you’ll get sick the middle of finals week.

Day 281.

Lesson #280: What no one told me about endings.

4/27/15.

Sometimes things come to an end naturally.

Relationships, graduations, jobs.

Nothing bad happened. It was just—well—time.

Other times, things need to end.

It’s not good for us. It’s dull, or it’s toxic—or it’s getting there.

But today I realized that the little gray area of endings often gets overlooked. It’s right in the middle of the good and the bad.

It’s the kind of ending that’s so complex, I’m not even sure what to call it.

Unlike those good endings, it doesn’t come to a close on it’s own. And unlike those bad endings, it isn’t quite bad enough to make us want to leave.

Yikes.

While most everything is a choice, this one’s a little bit different.

Almost more than the other two, this uncategorized ending is the one that we dread the most, because the circumstance doesn’t really make the decision for us.

We have to.

You know the kind I’m talking about it?

Whatever we’re dealing with isn’t serving us like it used to. We aren’t growing. We aren’t thriving. We’re sad, because we don’t want to leave. But at the same time, we’re anxious, because we know we need to. We aren’t being forced to end it, but we know we can’t stay any longer either.

Everything is just so unclear. Are we imagining things? Or is this what’s supposed to happen?

I’m not so sure.

But I do know this.

One of my favorite quotes also happens to be from one of my favorite books of all time, The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom.

“All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.”

Sometimes, you just have to trust the end.

Even if you can’t see the other side.

Some chapters just need closing.

And that’s okay.

It has to be.

Day 280.

Lesson #278: Create vs. Recreate.

4/25/15.

I fell asleep on the couch yesterday after eight hours of orientation leader training before I could write my blog post.

Hehe, oops.

But it just so happens that this is the perfect transition into what I’m going to talk about.

So.

TODAY’S YESTER-LESSON.

During eight hours of training, naturally, you’re bound to learn a lot of things. But there was one thing that really stuck out to me.

The idea of creating vs. re-creating.

Our orientation coordinator, Maria Arbizo, put this on the last slide of the powerpoint, leaving it as one of the most important pieces of advice.

Many times in life, people who have come before us tell us of the experiences they had in the position we hold: whether it’s positive or negative. We adapt what happened to them into our expectations, when the truth is—our experience will be different.

She told us not to re-create, but to create.

This summer, there will be a whole different class of orientation leaders than last year. There will be different first year students, different circumstances, and different opportunities.

And I think this applies to most everything else in life.

Your experience is unique. You won’t view it or see it or have it like anyone else ever did, or ever will.

Your experience is yours. More importantly—your experience is yours to create.

So drop all of your expectations,

and get to creating.

Day 278.

Lesson #277: Thanks, Jesse McCartney.

4/24/15.

Thanks to Jesse McCartney,

I now know that it’s possible to revert back into a 14-year-old girl.

I finally lived out my childhood dream of seeing Jesse McCartney in concert.

And I melted.

Like, peel-me-off-of-the-floor melted.

It was possibly the best hour and a half of my life. Even with no space to move, undesirably touching sweaty people I had never met, and constant pushing.

Swoon.

So today’s lesson?

You’re never too old to feel young again.

Heck, you’re never too young to feel young again.

Live out an old dream every once in a while.

You may find a piece of yourself that you forgot you loved.

If nothing else, it’ll just put a big smile on your face.

Day 277.