—I promise you,
But when you can’t help but feel like it is,
here’s how to put it back together.
1. Try this with someone you trust.
“I’m going to talk about it for five minutes, and then we’re not going to talk about it anymore, and then I’m going to do something else.”
It works really well.
For the first three hours.
And then you’ll want to cry and talk about it again.
And that’s okay.
Repeat until it works.
2. Write a letter or note to whoever has made you feel the way you do.
But unlike those ridiculously addictive and absolutely unrealistic rom-coms that we are conditioned to love,
make it real.
Don’t let it consist of over-the-top statements, and dramatics, and threats, and hatred.
Write it as if you were going to say it to their face.
Let them know what they’ve done wrong, and how you feel, and if it really does apply—how shitty they are.
Read it out loud.
(I did twice.)
Whether you will actually say this to them in the near future or not,
you’ll feel a million times better.
And it lets out a whole lot of what you were holding in.
3. Do it. Sing (…or scream) along with the appropriate mood music.
Your car is the best place.
Just be sure not to pull up directly to the person next to you at the stoplight.
I’ve found that mostly, you’re going to want to sing-scream the bad songs. The ones that relate to exactly how your feeling. The ones that make your mascara run and have lyrics like “You broke my heart” and “I knew you’d do this” and “I’m so sad” and yata yata yata. The ones that are the most dark.
Listen to the ones that preach about how fucking awesome you are. The ones that tell you you can do better, and that you will do better. The ones that say “I don’t need you” and “I’m glad I know now” and “I’m going to be okay.”
4. You have so many awesome people around you and in your life. Focus on them.
It’s so cliche, but I can honestly tell you from the past few days that this is one of the most true things in the world.
You have too many good people in your life to let one or two shitty people weigh you down.
My friend Danielle said it best (And it was really exactly what I needed to hear, rather than “It’s going to be okay”):
“Moments like these make you question everything and everyone in your life.
And it sucks.”
In the heat of the moment, it may feel like you don’t have anyone to turn to, or that people won’t be there for you.
But I promise,
You have so many people in your life who love you.
But beyond that,
there’s a silver lining in times like these,
because people that you didn’t even know cared about you show that they do.
Be grateful and thankful, and return the love too.
It’s okay to bask in it.
You need it right now.
5. If you pay close attention, (but really—you don’t have to pay much attention at all), you’ll notice the little ways that God is telling you: “This is not it. There is something better.”
Because there always is.