Lesson #290: The blue dress is a metaphor.

5/7/15.

As you can all probably tell from the past few days,

life has been a hot mess.

Lots of hurt, betrayal, questioning of friendships, anger, sadness—

you get the picture.

Naturally, you turn to your good friends for sob-venting and partners in food therapy.

Oh, and of course,

advice.

Am I crazy? Sob. Am I wrong? Sob. What do I do? Sob. What should I do? Sob sob.

But today, I’m here to caution you against one thing.

When you let what someone else thinks is best for you determine what you think is best for you,

you drown out your voice completely.

And by doing this—I’m telling you because I know—you won’t be happy. You will never, ever be happy if what you decide to do is not 100% what you want to do.

Realize that by me saying “do what’s best for you” and make the “unpopular” decision, I’m not saying you will be right.

You could fall flat on your face. You could end up even more hurt. You could be dead wrong.

Which isn’t reassuring—

sorry—

but it’s the truth.

But one thing is for sure.

Even if you end up falling flat on your face, or even more hurt, or dead wrong—you will have one thing.

You will know for yourself.

I find all of this really funny, because between my family and friends, I am infamous for not doing what people tell me to do, even when I’m the one who asks.

“Blue dress or pink?”

“Blue.”

I choose the pink.

But what’s currently happening—well—is a lot bigger.

And for once, I chose the blue dress. Just like they told me.

And now I’m regretting it.

When something happens to you, listening to the people you love and trust for words of wisdom is important.

But it’s just that.

Words of wisdom.

They’re not prescriptions, or ultimatums, or commandments.

Realize that I’m also not saying “don’t listen.”

Do.

But once you do,

realize this.

What they are saying is not wrong,

but in some instances, it just may not be right for you.

We work in different ways. You work differently than your best friend, or your mom, or your friend from class, or work, or the lady you talk to when you get your nails done. They may value getting over it, while you value closure. They may value something you’re not after, or something you’re not ready for.

You chose the people you have in your life because they know a thing or two about the world, and they may know a thing or two about you.

They say our friends know us better than we know ourselves.

And this is quite possibly very true.

But I’m telling you, those quotes and movies and magazine articles just do not give us enough credit to ourselves.

We are the ones who know how we work.

We are the ones who have to deal with it.

And we are the ones who know what we need to do.

Even when we think we don’t.

It’s been a rough couple of days, but it’s definitely been some of self-discovery.

And for that, I am thankful.

So today (not so ironically) goes right along with the past few days.

Be honest with yourself, surround yourself with people you love, do what’s best for you, and keep moving.

And on a side note—

fuck whoever isn’t worth it.

Day 290.

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