Inevitably, at some point in your life, you will feel lonely. I have felt this recently after I finished eating salad, which leads us to the title of this lesson: Crying while eating salad.
This week, I had a moment when everything crashed and burned. This can be attributed to three things:
1. My desk at work was moved to a corner away from everyone in the office.
2. I was in the midst of a soul search after I officially graduated college in May. This search for my passion in life took place thousands of miles away from my support group in Virginia.
3. I found out through my mom that one of my old basketball teammates died.
I was feeling a weird combination of depression and homesickness and my natural response was to cry. I couldn’t, however, because I had bought a delicious salad from Fat Sal’s that I needed to eat. No one cries while eating salad. How do I know this? I googled people crying while eating salad and received images of the opposite. People eating salad were laughing and smiling in a state of unrelenting euphoria.
The people who were crying couldn’t bring themselves to eat their food.
So I finished my salad while Skyping my long distance boyfriend and, after everything was thrown away and done with, I sobbed for a good thirty minutes. I couldn’t explain this feeling of loneliness that I had but I knew everything was falling around me and I could barely keep myself together. He comforted me through it all but there’s only so much you can do when you live on the opposite coast.
The next morning, I decided to change things around. It was a half day at work due to the Fourth of July holiday, so I made a few promises to myself.
1. I would keep my chin from dipping to the floor. My head would be held high and proud because I would seize the day.
2. I would smile at every person I saw.
3. I would be honest in all things.
To my surprise, the sadness melted away throughout the day. I was laughing and smiling, joking and having a great time. As I headed home in the car, I called my family members who were on the road to Massachusetts for the weekend.
However, the best moments of my ride happened when I was in complete silence. No music. No phone. No technology. I took time to listen to my thoughts and check in with myself.
I wanted to be a writer. I was writing every day and finally, after years and years, I admitted to myself that this was something I felt ready to pursue. I thought through numerous life plans: what was I going to do in the meantime? How would I get by? What were the next steps? The silence allowed me enough time to truly ask myself if this was something I wanted.
Throughout this holiday weekend, I promised to allow myself more of these moments in silence. I reached realizations I didn’t think I would reach. I got to know my classmates better and had a variety of new experiences. Lastly, I climbed a mountain to a waterfall, something you’ve probably read on Mia’s blog already.
Sometimes we’re so caught up in our phones, texts, emails, tweets, etc. that we don’t take the time to check in with ourselves. You are the most important person you will ever spend time with. Take yourself on a date somewhere new. Go and see a movie by yourself. If you need something more simple, turn your radio off when you are in the car alone.
It’ll give you time to hear yourself think.
There are reasons you can’t cry while eating salad. Crying is personal. You need a moment to collect yourself and check in with your emotions. When you have managed that, you can finally move towards a happier lifestyle.
Your decision to be happy comes from your decision to let yourself by happy.
So, what’s your hesitation in making this day the best you’ve ever had? It’s all in your mind. And once you know yourself, nothing can stop you from creating the life you want.
-Lesson by Frannie Nejako-
Frannie Nejako is a writer and director from Virginia. She is a recent graduate of James Madison University, with a Bachelor of Arts in Theatre and Creative Writing. She loves new experiences almost as much as she loves a good meal. Frannie has recently become obsessed with HGTV and home renovation shows, ironically at a time in her life when she can’t afford a house, let alone a few paint buckets. Frannie is called to be a storyteller, and plans to tell stories for the rest of her life. You can read more about her adventures in her blog, https://adventureswithfran.wordpress.com.