Tag Archives: black

Lesson #330: Live long and prosper.

6/15/15.

At my internship, a lot of my time is spent at a desk logging interviews, and watching and finding clips for segments.

I don’t mind, because every day I learn something new.

Today I watched an interview with Nichelle Nichols, one of the original Star Trek TV series cast members, and one of the first Black women on television to ever be portrayed positively in a role other than a servant. She’s a legendary trailblazer.

She recently had a stroke, and one of my tasks today was to watch an interview she did on a talk show, post recovery.

When asked how she was doing, she replied, “Better than ever.” She had the biggest smile on her face as she mentioned something about feeling wilder than ever.

My spirit animal.

Then she said this:

“The things you have no control over—deny them.”

It may seem kind of crazy, but she has completely denied her stroke. She doesn’t remember it, so she’s not freaking out about it, because she doesn’t even want to go there.

Although I’ve heard variations of this mantra before, and some things in life aren’t better swept under the rug—some things are. And something about this struck me today.

It’s hard to do, but you have the power to shut things out. You totally have the power to say, “Nope. Not going to let this get to me. Not going to let it affect me. Not going to let it overcome me.”

And then you have to keep moving forward.

“Whatever happens, I take care of it, and then I give it to God,” she said.

Live long and prosper.

Day 330.

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Lesson #306: People will talk, but you decide.

5/24/15.

People will always say things about you.

They will say things that are unfair. They will come to conclusions when they know nothing about you. They will say things that don’t make sense, or things that do—but hurt anyways.

And the thing is, it’s not just people you don’t know. Sometimes it’s the people you do know, and that’s when it hurts the most.

As someone who is black and female, I’ve heard a lot of shit in my life.

My hair is not good enough. But when it is? “It’s fake.” I can’t do this, or be that. Why? It’s written on the color of my skin. “Why do you talk so white?” Because I’m black, and apparently if the way I talk is not fitting enough, there’s no way I can be someone of my kind. “Cover up that cleavage.” The boys are looking, but it’s my responsibility to stop their gaze. “Pull down that dress, it’s too short.” I’m 20, but did you want to call my mother and send me home to change? (Body shaming other women is awesome, isn’t it?) “You’re not aggressive enough.” But when I am, it’s unlike me. I’m not standing up for myself, I’m just bitchy. “It’s a good thing you’re pretty.” Because that’s all that matters. Who cares about the brain?

It’s always one thing or another.

I’ve been hearing these for years. And some, today.

But I’ve realized something.

You can’t control what people say. And you can’t really choose if it bothers you, either. (You can pretend like it doesn’t—but if it does, it does.)

But you can decide how you will let it affect you.

You can be upset and sulk.

Or you can decide that, quite frankly, they aren’t shit.

Day 306.